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Undead Halfling #7
Posted On 05/20/2009 15:58:27 by KillerDM
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Undead Halfling #7
Adventures are just plain stupid. I know. I used to be one before I was killed by a fellow party member. That same guy animated me into the unwholesome horror I am today. So I killed him and ate him. Turns out revenge really is a dish best served cold? Adventurers are always leaping before they look, never truly thinking things through until they’ve lost a few friends.
As one of the sentient undead, adventurers pose a unique challenge to me; in particular, the magic using variety. They are always trying to kill me or control me. Not so long ago I had a run in with a group of adventurers. Once used magic to control me, his magic failed of course, but he didn’t know that so I went along with it anyway. I thought it may be fun. I found the inter-party politics entertaining.
The Mage saw me as a tool. One that could be destroyed if things did not work. Of everyone in the group, I liked him. He didn’t care what other people though nor was he about to force his ideology on others. Not because he didn’t believe he was right. He was a very self-righteous man with a superiority complex. He couldn’t be bothered with listening to or exposing his beliefs to others he thought barely more than animals. No one else knew of his point of view and assumed he was an OK guy. Mages are always so focused on their magic. All this guy wanted at the moment was his new play-thing, me.
The druid was very interesting. Having the demeanor of an eco-terrorist, one could tell he was one charred Bambi away from turning to the dark side. He despised humanity and their encroachment upon the natural world. He walked around his fellows with barely contained rage. With the exception that he was alive I could hardly tell him apart from some the undead beings I have come to know. I don’t get druids, they say they want to keep the balance, the natural order of things but they commit horrific acts in the name of these things. They kill their own kind, wipe out villages, towns and cities. This whole balance thing just seems like the rationale of a serial killer to me.
At first the cleric was conflicted, my evil nature being obvious. When it appeared I was under the control of the mage he quickly rationalized my presence as being a tool for goodness. The clergy are so predictable. All they want is power and money. If they tell you differently, it’s because they want something. This cleric was a dope. Almost a dumb as the paladin. He was just trying to make a name for himself and if he leveraged an undead Halfling to do it, then what the heck. He figured if it didn’t work out he would just use his divine powers to destroy me. I decided I would kill him first.
The paladin was a really tough nut to crack. You know how uncompromising they are. They would kill a child if they thought it had been tainted by evil. When you take in the whole pictures paladins, aren’t all that different than most chaotic and evil foes. They love to kill and shed blood at the slightest provocation. In their wake they leave death and destruction. I think there is an evil god out there behind all the paladins of the world. They just don’t know it. The joke's on them. I mean really, the only ones who see paladins as a force for good are paladins. Look at all the hoops they have to go through to get and maintain the powers. Vows of poverty and celibacy; what goodly being would do that to a man? When it comes down to it they intimidate and oppress the ones they claim to protect. There is definitely an evil power behind paladins it you ask me. He did finally relent and decided he would not destroy me, at least not immediately. Everyone knew they would employ me for the most heinous of purposes but they apparently handled their paladin like everyone else. If he didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.
As a group they weren’t entirely useless. The druid cut me open and stuffed me fill of plants and herbs to free me of my insect infestation and putrid smell. The cleric cast some kind or preserve spell on me which stopped me from rotting further. Finally the mage cast a few illusions on me and made me look as though I’d never died. He did get the eye color wrong though. It really upset me. When I kill him, I will take my time about it. Overall I was very happy. I never thought I’d be able to join an adventuring group again. I was living the undead Halfling's wet dream; if such a thing were possible. It was going to be fun torturing this group. No one suspected the mages control spell failed.
Tags: Undead Halfling #7
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