During the course of my average workday, I manage to get out of the building a couple of times in order to take a walk around the property's perimeter. Not only does this make for good exercise and fresh air, it also enables my eyes to focus on faraway things for a while. This is particularly helpful, since my job involves me sitting at a desk for 8 hours, staring at a computer screen (after which I can go home and finally relax, which usually involves sitting at my desk for hours, playing computer games, web-surfing, or designing dungeons/tournaments. Totally different matter).
Anyways, during my walk yesterday, I happened to notice a red-tailed hawk perched on a telephone wire. Now, I'm not much of a bird enthusiast, but even I had to admit that this was an impressive specimen of raptor. It had a nasty beak that you could tell was sharp even seeing it from a distance. Its talons were impressive, the envy of any creature found in the Monster Manual.
So there was this hawk, perched on the phone wire, chilling out, being cool, since birds of prey ARE in fact cool. But since I had never seen this bird around before, I surmised that it was a newcomer to the area.
I wasn't the only one who noticed it. A starling flitted over to an adjacent wire and began chirping menacingly at it. Clearly, the hawk was intruding in the starling's territory. The hawk simply looked in its direction with a glance of contemptuous indifference, a look normally only seen on the faces of pompous fantasy/sf/horror authors when faced with over-excited fanboys.
Amused, I paused to watch the drama. But as frantically as the starling beat its wings, and as loudly as it chirped, the hawk remained unimpressed. At last, the starling flew off....
...only to return about 90 seconds later with some help.
Yes, now there were FOUR starlings, all chirping and hopping about excitedly. Finally, the hawk spread its wings and took off from its perch. The starlings swiftly followed.
Suddenly, the hawk wheeled about and, with beak and talons flashing, tore apart the four starlings in a flurry of blood and feathers that had to be seen to be believed. If birds filmed their own bad martial arts movies, this hawk would be filling the role of Bruce Lee. If this bird was a bad fantasy movie, it'd be Hawk the Slayer. Four lifeless starlings plummeted to the ground (don't feel bad...starlings aren't cute birds like sparrows, finches, or chickadees. Frankly, starlings suck). The hawk circled once, and returned to its perch.
The moral of the story is:
A bad-ass that's surrounded by a crowd of wimps will still kick butt and take names; it just takes it a little longer to get the job done.
Tags: Wisdom Fable Inspirational Birds Hawk Shred Kill Death
