It is my considered opinion that a terrific Dungeon Master is:

One part Rules Lawyer
One part Referee
One part Impartial Mediator
One part Good Buddy
Two parts Actor
Two parts Writer
Three parts Storyteller
Five parts Complete and Utter S.O.B.

Let me break it down.

Rules Lawyer: While no one asks you to know every single rule, you better have a good grasp of the fundamentals of the game you're running. Missed/blown calls frustrate players and makes them lose any trust and respect they have towards you. And if your players don't trust you, you might as well pack it up.

Referee: OK, you know the rules....can/will you enforce them, and do so consistently? And yes, knowing the rules and enforcing them are two different things. If you don't enforce the rules, the players walk all over you, and you lose their respect, as well as control of the campaign.

Impartial Mediator: Disputes arise between players, and you better nip those sort of things in the bud before they get the chance to shatter a group. You can't play favorites; hell, you can't even afford the mere APPEARANCE of playing favorites. As a sidebar, it's even a greater challenge if your kids and/or wife/husband/sweethear/bf/gf/lover/sexual plaything, are in the campaign. Wow. Seriously, whenever they do something spectacular, if you have anyone in the group who's disgruntled, they will start casting suspicions about. "Funny how he/she knew the right thing to do, isn't it?", they say. Because obviously the person in question couldn't just be a good gamer and/or extremely bright and has been paying attention, now could they? That's why I personally tend to be more harsh with Carol and the kids. And if there are rolls to be made regarding which PC is attacked by the monster, I'll roll it in front of everyone. I had a trio of disgruntled gamers who started complaining that Carol's PC never died. Never mind that her PC wasn't a front-liner (a Rogue/shadowdancer to be exact), she also played her character smart and careful. It got to the point where she privately suggested that I deliberately kill her PC, just to shut them up. Although I appreciated the offer, I turned her down. On a final note, of the two guys who complained longest and loudest about my alleged favoritism, one of them ran a campaign where his girlfriend's starting resources were far beyond what was allowed, and the other made his girlfriend the actual center of the adventure (everyone was along to protect her). I wasn't in either of those campaigns.

Good Buddy: The DM role isn't always adversarial. A good DM has to know when to be the good guy. Sometimes it may be something as simple as NPCs making a big fuss over the PCs. Other times, perhaps it's a bonus reward for good play. And yet other times, it could be something more passive, as in conceding when the PCs have you outfoxed and letting things happen. One former gamer of mine told me that the point where he fell in love with my campaign (his choice of words) was when the party spent about 15 minutes coming up with this spectacular plan for raiding a frost giant encampment. They made some plans that exploited a few things I had overlooked, then implemented the plan. Rather than scramble to pull something new out of my butt that would foil those plans ("Oh look, here comes a squad of flying vampiric wolverines that the frost giants had summoned...um...yesterday. Yeah, that's it!"). Nope, they made a good plan, they executed it, they ran rougshod over my encounter, and I sat back and let it happen. Sometimes, you just have to tip your cap and acknowledge that you've been beaten.

Actor: You, as the DM, are in charge of playing all of the NPCs a party encounters. So, in rapid succession, you may play an innkeeper, then a slutty tavern wench, a drunken street person, a rabid dog, an insane gnome, the God of Vengeance, an easily bribable city guard, a screaming toddler, a hyperactive alchemist, a dreadful warlock, a badger, a snake, or an ambulatory mushroom. And you had best portray them with enough differences that you establish that one is not to be confused for another. Throw yourself into the role. If the adventure calls for you to be a rabid badger, then be the best rabid badger you can! Foam at the mouth! Make weird faces! Make strange noises! Get into it! And if the adventure calls for you to assume the role of a Vampire Hooker of Loviatar, then....good luck (and send me the inevitable Youtube link!).

Writer: Unless you're running strictly modules, you're going to have to write. Fortunately for the size of this blog entry, that's already been covered elsewhere.

Storyteller: Different from a writer.....a writer creates the story. The storyteller gives it to the players, acting as their senses. You have to try and be compelling enough, detailed enough, that the players forget they're in the world of today, and have been transported elsewhere (and elsewhen).

Complete and Utter S.O.B.: I saved the most fun one for last. Famous cantankerous controversial grouchy writer Harlan Ellison has a term for some of his work....it's a compound word: the first word is "Mind"...the second word rhymes with "duck", and describes the act of mating. A great DM subjects his players to a "mind-duck" often. Because hey, let's face it: adventure means drama, drama means confrontation with the opposition, and confrontation with opposition is something the DM brings to the table. Yes, the DM is the players' friend, and the players' impartial judge....but he/she is also the players' enemy and rival. And therefore, you need to mess with them. You need to throw curveballs when they expect a straight fastball right down the middle. Keep them off-balance, throw red herrings at them, have some NPCs who lie (and reasons for why; lying just for the sake of being a jerk isn't cool). Mess with their heads. This is one of my favorite tactics:

DM: OK, so there's two paths: left or right. Which one do you take?
PLAYER: Ummm...right.
DM: OK. You sure about that?
PLAYER: Um. Yes?
DM: Hey, I'm just checking; wanting to make sure and all that. Now....you DID say "Right", right?
PLAYER: (getting worried) Ah...yeah.....right....
DM: (smiles) Cool....ok...so....your character goes right, right? Heading down the right path now? Right? Sure about that?
PLAYER: ARRGHHGHH! No! NO! Left! Left!!! Something's up! I go left!
DM: (rolls dice) Awwww....too bad. The right path was indeed the right path. But you went left, and stumbled upon a support group meeting for especially homicidal beholders with anger management issues. ZAPZAPZAPZAPZAP!!! Congratulations, your PC has been reduced to a pile of talcum powder.
PLAYER: AAAAAH! You suck!
DM: Thank you!

And so, there you have it.....a small look at what makes a really good DM (at least in my own humble opinion). Some of you may think that being all of those people at once is akin to having a multiple personality disorder, and you'd be correct in thinking that; for it's also my considered opinion that, in order to be a truly effective DM, you need to be at least a little bit insane.

Tags: DM DungeonMaster